Dust Bunny
My husband strolled casually into the room one day last week, looked me straight in the eye, and uttered the following:
"I don't think it's you, but this room really smells like DUST".
Caught somewhat off guard, I paused, pen in hand, with wrinkled brow. I then calmly said, "So you don't think it's me?"
It was then, I think, that the reality of his wording hit him. He had just told his wife, casually, that the dust smell may be her.
I don't know about you, but tidbits like that do not lead to romance around here. Since then, I have quizzed him endlessly (ok, tortured) about this 'dust smell'. I am a bath junkie, and have the lotions, potions and bubbles to back me up. Since when have I stunk? I generally smell of shea butter. Or chocolate, if I am baking "Killer Brownies". As I work in construction, I am a stickler for deodorant and overall cleanliness. Why do men say these things out loud? Have they no edit filter?
I must admit, however, that this has led to fun all around. I laughed myself to tears while contemplating this phrase- generally just the first few words. I don't think it's you. Why thank you, darlin'.
This phrase has officially replaced my former favorite, which kept me laughing for about 6 years. "What is it, exactly, that is wrong with you?" (I have an auto immune disorder, and the poor girl couldn't remember which one it was!) The owner of that phrase was the new, young bride of a friend. Sadly, she was very quiet at the time, and did not take my screaming laughter well at all.
So here's my query for you : What is the funniest/most horrifying, accidental insult you ever received?
Labels: Short Stories
posted by rennratt at 11:19 AM
7 Comments:
Not said to me but to a student in my friends Mathematics class. The student was having trouble understanding some principle so he asked the Chinese professor a question. The professor countered by making the student explain what he thought. After a long winded incorrect explanation the professor said, "Why is in your mind so small?"
First of all... Welcome to the club!
Next, the worst accidental insult that I've received is when I was in High School... right after that time when you're all chubby because you're about to go from 5'6" to 6'3" in a matter of months... and my friend is over at my house while I'm getting ready to go out.
My friend looks at me when I step out of the shower and says, "Wow, you're not so fat!"
I was a freak'n bean pole... wotta bastard. I guess he was used to the short fat me that had been around for the past year or so.
I'll have to think (I've been accidentally insulted a lot, for some reason) for the best accidental insult...but I had to hurry and get on here to welcome you aboard. So glad you've decided to join us...great first post!
I'll also have to remember to proof before I post, too -- what a horrendous sentence -- "think...for"??? My apologies...
Wordnerd, please do not worry about editing your post. When I read y'all, I hear it. If that makes any sense. My brain auto corrects.
Ok -- I have an accidental insult story -- it didn't happen to me (at least not this one) but to a friend of mine. She had a new baby, and had come up to work to visit, get out of the house, show the baby to everyone, etc. So she's strolling this little cherub around, and someone in the building came up to her, ooohed and aaahhhed over the baby, and then said, "Oh, my goodness, she looks just like you...but she's beautiful!"
Hmmm...I'm thinkin' that a different conjunction coulda made a world of difference that time. I'm just sayin'. . .
hmmm, your blog made me type in tbeflb
Does that count?
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