Laughter - Medication for Idiots
We've all heard that "laughter is the best medicine". If this is true, I should be off all prescriptions by the end of the week.
The following gems have brought tear-induced laughter into my life over the past few months:
[These will either prove that I am certifiable or, as I have previously noted, my inner child is a fourteen year old boy.]
1. A co-worker openly farting onto the leg of another in the middle of the office. Both co-workers are a) MY EMPLOYEES and b) FEMALE.
2. Being greeted at the Mammogram with "Oh! I remember you! YOU need the BIG PLATES!"
3. Being told that my co-worker plans to name his unborn son Carmine.
4. My (farting) co-worker stating that, if #3 happens, the SON will be either a serial killer or a backup dancer for Siegfried & Roy.
5. My co-worker announcing that she works at a "strip club for fat chicks".
6. Sitting across from the Big Boss during a conference call (which lasted FOUR HOURS) and trading rude gestures, playing tic tac toe and doodling..while answering technical questions on OSHA compliance and standardization. [Thank God we're too cheap to install video streams...]
7. A rather interesting Nextel conversation with my co-worker The Dumplin' - which began with "Uh? Renn? I'm in a house?" - and ended, fifteen minutes later, with no clear indication of WHERE HE WAS or why he called me.
8. Attempting to edit field instructions that were translated into Spanish by BabelFish...and realizing that one of the instructions reads "Do NOT CRAP on the floor". It was supposed to instruct them to clean up debris after installation. I left the translation intact.
I was hoping for a solid "top ten" list, but have been sidelined with...cough induced laughter. I will confess that #7 is my favorite. It happened MONTHS AGO, and I'm still not sure where he was...
The following gems have brought tear-induced laughter into my life over the past few months:
[These will either prove that I am certifiable or, as I have previously noted, my inner child is a fourteen year old boy.]
1. A co-worker openly farting onto the leg of another in the middle of the office. Both co-workers are a) MY EMPLOYEES and b) FEMALE.
2. Being greeted at the Mammogram with "Oh! I remember you! YOU need the BIG PLATES!"
3. Being told that my co-worker plans to name his unborn son Carmine.
4. My (farting) co-worker stating that, if #3 happens, the SON will be either a serial killer or a backup dancer for Siegfried & Roy.
5. My co-worker announcing that she works at a "strip club for fat chicks".
6. Sitting across from the Big Boss during a conference call (which lasted FOUR HOURS) and trading rude gestures, playing tic tac toe and doodling..while answering technical questions on OSHA compliance and standardization. [Thank God we're too cheap to install video streams...]
7. A rather interesting Nextel conversation with my co-worker The Dumplin' - which began with "Uh? Renn? I'm in a house?" - and ended, fifteen minutes later, with no clear indication of WHERE HE WAS or why he called me.
8. Attempting to edit field instructions that were translated into Spanish by BabelFish...and realizing that one of the instructions reads "Do NOT CRAP on the floor". It was supposed to instruct them to clean up debris after installation. I left the translation intact.
I was hoping for a solid "top ten" list, but have been sidelined with...cough induced laughter. I will confess that #7 is my favorite. It happened MONTHS AGO, and I'm still not sure where he was...
posted by rennratt at 7:39 PM
13 Comments:
Number 8 wins. and totally applies to almost every situation in life.
If they can still put directions on shampoo bottles, that ought be written SOMEWHERE.
jc
I think a four hour conference call would destroy my soul.
I'm with Brenda! I don't know how you can work there though; seems like an oddly funny place.
I KID YOU NIT: the word verification is:
WNFART
I, too, totally love # 8 -- I think I need to do this to my friends and family when I translate from the french LOL
Dude. I wish you didn't say that #7 was your fave, because now I feel like, what's the expression? Oh yeah, a "bootlicking toady."
'Cause #7 is totally fascinating.
number seven sure had ME thinking...
But I liked your last one about translation thru babelfish. I do Temari, and the last kit I got was obviously translated from Japanese to English thru Babelfish...I swear:
please to bring the needle in at color A, and being to hide carefully the bits at end buried into the ball.
WHAZZZAMADDAH with the name Carmine...HUH? HUH?
LOL...that's hilarious!
Nothing funnier than some farting, LOL
I smiled all the way through, right up until #8, where I laughed out loud. People in lab are looking at me a bit strangely for the snorting noises....
Glad you've found stuff to amuse you during those long meetings. OSHA is, I'm sure, horribly entertaining in it's own right, of course!
#8, besides being hillarious, is one of the great truths of life. Hol it close (the saying, not the crap).
Renn, you work with some hilarious folks! I love it. Both 7 and 8 were LOL funny. My son goes to school with a kid named Carmine.
Not to be the late comer who merely agrees with everyone else - but holy crap #8 was hilarious.
I even liked it better than the fart thing...and for me that takes some doing. I love me a bodily function joke or 12.
You lost me after the need for big plates.
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