How to Impress the New Boss, Renn Style

When a New Boss takes over the office, employees should be careful to remain professional and respectful.

Employees not interested in being tagged as brown nosers may follow my lead instead. Simply follow these easy steps:

1.) If you retain any type of edit filter, lose it immediately.

Allow New Boss to overhear you stating the following:

2.) When referencing your eyebrows, loudly note that you look like the Love Child of Abe Vigoda and a Swamp Monster.

3.) When discussing dating (with a single co-worker): "I could never date a guy I think I could take in a fight. This renders most of America Un-date-able."

4.) On being a "Cougar" (to the same, single co-worker): "I could never be a Cougar. My brain would constantly be screaming 'Old enough to be his mom! Old enough to be his mom!', and I'd switch from trying to be alluring to sewing him flannel pajamas and feeding him oatmeal."

For maximum effect, be sure that your New Boss overhears all of the above within 4 hours time.