In Memorium - David Karl
If I close my eyes tightly enough, I can travel back in time. It's 1989 again, and we're together. We were so young. So sure. I was so utterly in love with you. I would have changed the world for you. God knows I tried. I just knew that, One Day Some Day, we would be together.
There were all of those late night conversations. All of those dreams, goals, desires. The chain smoking AA meetings that ran for hours on end. The endless chase for Enlightenment. The Quest for the Quest, as it were.
Our youth and naivety led us to believe that we'd get past our challenges and experiments; we'd grow up and be responsible one day. Many of us did just that. I guess you never did.
Years passed, and, while most of us got married and had kids, you continued your downward spiral. You lost your battle with sobriety without so much of a whimper. You ran headlong into long term addiction and fell forward into the Abyss of Mental Illness.
You tried so hard to Be Somebody, without realizing that you already WERE.
...I crouch in the corner
alone and afraid
with constant regrets
for mistakes I have made
Can't get out of this darkness
There's no end to the fear
the demise of my life shines
out loud and clear
I sit in the dark now
I just feel like crying
On the outside I smile
But inside, I'm dying.
I loved you for so long and with such intensity, David. I was one of the many who really did care what happened to you, even if you couldn't seem to feel it.
Rest in Peace, David Karl. I pray you finally found the peace you searched so desperately for.
There were all of those late night conversations. All of those dreams, goals, desires. The chain smoking AA meetings that ran for hours on end. The endless chase for Enlightenment. The Quest for the Quest, as it were.
Our youth and naivety led us to believe that we'd get past our challenges and experiments; we'd grow up and be responsible one day. Many of us did just that. I guess you never did.
Years passed, and, while most of us got married and had kids, you continued your downward spiral. You lost your battle with sobriety without so much of a whimper. You ran headlong into long term addiction and fell forward into the Abyss of Mental Illness.
You tried so hard to Be Somebody, without realizing that you already WERE.
...I crouch in the corner
alone and afraid
with constant regrets
for mistakes I have made
Can't get out of this darkness
There's no end to the fear
the demise of my life shines
out loud and clear
I sit in the dark now
I just feel like crying
On the outside I smile
But inside, I'm dying.
I loved you for so long and with such intensity, David. I was one of the many who really did care what happened to you, even if you couldn't seem to feel it.
Rest in Peace, David Karl. I pray you finally found the peace you searched so desperately for.
posted by rennratt at 2:02 PM
10 Comments:
A good tribute to a former love, Renn. I also have one in my past who succumbed to alcohol and died of cirrhosis before age 53. It was such a waste, and I am sure David's death was too. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, Renn. Sounds like you've been a good friend for a long time. Beautiful tribute.
Oh Renn, I'm so sorry. I hope both you and David find peace.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That is so tragic. Prayers for him and his family (and you) going out!
And to think he had people like you wanting so desperately to help. My children buried their father last year and he too was surrounded by unconditional love that he never could see. I am so very sorry for you loss.
So sad. That makes the third that I'm aware of just this month. Alcohol and December clearly don't mix.
Rick, David's poison was heroin.
He died of an overdose just before Thanksgiving, at the age of 39.
Death of potential. Death of memories. Death of hope. None are fun.
Peace to you as you make your way through a tough time.
prayers for comfort for you and all who loved David. May light eternal surround him and he rest in peace.
Wow, that's powerful stuff. I have a cousin I worry about losing his battle everyday. I have said for years that I have faith he can come through it. Just wish they could have that faith in themselves.
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