This just in...

While I attended a Very Important Meeting on Kindergarten Etiquette, Chachi took Nooze to a small circus that was performing here in town.

Though I have no affinity for caged animals (inhumane), scary rides (unsafe) or clowns (duh - creepy), I kind of hate that I missed it. See, it wasn't just a circus. It was a semi-Latino circus. [The juggler from Sabado Gigante was there!] It was, according to Chachi, the gayest circus EVER.

While Nooze was admitted free of charge, Chachi had to pay $15 for admission. The RIDES they bragged about on the brochure? There was ONE, and it was an inflatable bouncing pit. Pony rides were five dollars.

Animal entertainment consisted of: A large horse and a miniature horse running in circles for five minutes. They were replaced by a GOAT - who ran in circles for five minutes. The goat was replaced by a camel - who ran laps for about two minutes, then stopped in his tracks. The stubborn camel was tugged at by the maiden of the circus, but he refused to budge.

The Ringmaster made a reference to the Ed Sullivan Show. [Target Audience: my grandfather?] Prizes for helping the Ringmaster? Balloon animals - a poodle and a mouse - 'like the one on Ed Sullivan'.

Then The Girl came out. Perhaps the only valid entertainment of the Circus, The Girl fascinated Nooze with acts of balancing, trapeze acrobatics, hula hoops and spinning at hyperspeed on a bicycle - while in a bowl - which was sitting on a man's shoulders. Chachi told me that Nooze was completely transfixed at this point. She sat, eyes wide, in complete silence.

After The Girl, it was time for the Mexican Clowns. There was much foolishness, which involved feet and butts. Apparently most involved kicking others - or being kicked. Hilarious.

The Petting Zoo consisted of two underfed (starving) tigers and a llama with a bad case of mange - or male pattern baldness. This alone would have kept me from going in.

At the end of the night - which was a total of TWO HOURS, the financial breakdown is as follows:

$15 to enter
$2 for peanuts
$2 for a soda
$3 for cotton candy
$2 for a balloon
$8 for a fiber optic toy

Another story for my blog? PRICELESS.

That is a grand total of $32 to endure butt jokes, fifty year old references to a tv show of a man long dead, sick animals, and freakish stunts.

I think that meeting on 'Sight Words for Five Year Olds' could have been a little more entertaining...