This must be Hell; They're serving Clam Dip
I am by no means a finicky eater. Mere glances at my mom-ish physique trigger words like sturdy, healthy or maybe even corn fed. I truly like my food.
In fact, I may well have exited the womb demanding nourishment. I was cereal fed by two months, as milk simply wasn't cutting it. Sadly, that trend has not ended some thirty odd years later.
During my last trimester of pregnancy, my appetite had grown to points beyond comprehension. I lived for General Tso's Chicken and Fried Chicken Wings from the Chinese restaurant near my office. I gained 17 pounds in about 10 days, and my OB said (this is a quote): "Renn, darlin'. I'm glad you've found your appetite. Really. But it is time to back away from the buffet!"
In spite of all of this, there are some things that even the Solid Stomach of Renn can not abide. Some things are, truthfully, VILE. They simply should not exist. Not near me, anyway.
A few examples follow:
1. Bisques and Chowders. Though this will likely earn a punch or a Spoon Thwack from Tracy Lynn, I simply can not handle them. These vile creations are simply random vegetable chunks floating in hot milk. This is clearly not right.
In spite of what TL may tell you, True Maine-iac Tomato Bisque is not Tomato Soup with milk. It is CRUSHED (Stewed) Tomato, generally home canned - HEATED UP IN MILK.
2. Anything with clams in it. If I wanted to eat erasers, I wouldn't have quit when my third grade teacher hit me.
3. Anything served at the Feast of St. Lucia [Swedish] Smorgasbord. Any food that requires drunkeness to endure should probably be avoided. Especially lutefisk.
4. Ka - Me Noodles with Black Bean Sauce. Oh, Sweet Lord. It smells like it was pre-digested. Whoever ate it first got sick - and then added MSG!
5. Boiled Okra. Some things are JUST PLAIN WRONG.
I realize that these items are my personal nightmares. Which foods, if any, would tend to send you screaming for the hills?
In fact, I may well have exited the womb demanding nourishment. I was cereal fed by two months, as milk simply wasn't cutting it. Sadly, that trend has not ended some thirty odd years later.
During my last trimester of pregnancy, my appetite had grown to points beyond comprehension. I lived for General Tso's Chicken and Fried Chicken Wings from the Chinese restaurant near my office. I gained 17 pounds in about 10 days, and my OB said (this is a quote): "Renn, darlin'. I'm glad you've found your appetite. Really. But it is time to back away from the buffet!"
In spite of all of this, there are some things that even the Solid Stomach of Renn can not abide. Some things are, truthfully, VILE. They simply should not exist. Not near me, anyway.
A few examples follow:
1. Bisques and Chowders. Though this will likely earn a punch or a Spoon Thwack from Tracy Lynn, I simply can not handle them. These vile creations are simply random vegetable chunks floating in hot milk. This is clearly not right.
In spite of what TL may tell you, True Maine-iac Tomato Bisque is not Tomato Soup with milk. It is CRUSHED (Stewed) Tomato, generally home canned - HEATED UP IN MILK.
2. Anything with clams in it. If I wanted to eat erasers, I wouldn't have quit when my third grade teacher hit me.
3. Anything served at the Feast of St. Lucia [Swedish] Smorgasbord. Any food that requires drunkeness to endure should probably be avoided. Especially lutefisk.
4. Ka - Me Noodles with Black Bean Sauce. Oh, Sweet Lord. It smells like it was pre-digested. Whoever ate it first got sick - and then added MSG!
5. Boiled Okra. Some things are JUST PLAIN WRONG.
I realize that these items are my personal nightmares. Which foods, if any, would tend to send you screaming for the hills?
posted by rennratt at 4:28 PM
15 Comments:
I had some kind of rice noodle thing at a sushi place that almost made me hurl. They were like rubber bands.
Also, not so much with the beets. Or baby corns (poor baby corns, they died so young!)
ROFLMAO!! You are just too funny. Liver sets me on edge; even smelling it while cooking can make me run screaming from the room. Mom could have told you that, cause I did it more than once.
I agree with you and Tiff about most everything you named, although I used to like fried clams, and beets fresh from the arden bear no relation to those canned things. Baby corns should have been left to mature.
That is SO funny...and such a coincidence too that the three things I said my entire life I would NOT eat even with a gun to my head are:
sauerkraut
beets
and...
BOILED OKRA!!!!
Everything else is fair game. I'm a hungry girl of sturdy peasant stock lineage myself. But I most prefer donuts,AMP, and popcorn.
Hot Tuna caserole will never darken my dinner plate. The plain Tomato soup that looks like faded red housepaint and tastes like puke. I've never quite worked up the courage to try snails.
Other than that, it's all food.
My dad made the BEST sauerkraut. I helped, so I know how it's made, but am too lazy to repeat. I will not eat anything with a bone or pork.
I'm with you on all that stuff, plus almost all vegetables, anything pickled and any weird meat, or canned food that isn't tuna.
Your inability to appreciate the finer points of a bisque or chowder I'll put down as some sort of abberation brought on by the fact that you have eaten lutefisk, and not entirely your fault, although your description of a Maine Tomato Bisque is not tempting, I'll admit. I must get the kind from out of state, which is delicious.
Not even a Lucia bun?
A little cross-blog chatter: Thanks for the advice. I've heard of 217, but not Malibu. I'll check it out.
Rock on, Sister.
Well I am with you on the okra -- ugh -- I don't care how you cook that crap....LOVE the clams though but only in a good homemade dip :) -- the bags from whole clams -- oh my god gross.....liver if I have to touch it -- shiver and hot tuna? gag me with a rubber spoon
I don't like any of the things on your list, Renn. Okra is particularly nasty to me. Like Judy above, liver is one of the "foods" I find totally repulsive.
Now...I like my clams - chowder, bisque, dip, fried...anything is good!
I can't stand brussel sprouts, and I am with you on okra. There are certain Scottish things I wouldn't touch (haggis, anyone?). I'm more of a texture issue gal - I like all my fruit to be really firm - can't stand mushy grapes and mealy apples - yuck!
So funny you asked. Yesterday, as I was picking 972 black olives off of an otherwise awesome sensation salad, I asked myself, why on earth were black olives invented...
Here's part of my list:
(1) Black olives
(2) Anything and everything coffee-flavored other than COFFEE. (Ice creams, candy, etc.)
(3) RARE tuna steak (I love it,COOKED,but I lose it completely when I watch someone eat one so rare that it looks like strawberry jello in the middle)
(4) bbq potato chips
(5) pimento cheese
(6) pickle and/or olive loaf
There are more. I promise.
Heh. I'm with you Renn, here's another woman with a hearty appetite. However...these things will not pass my lips.. EVA..
Olives - all of 'em suck.
Brussel Sprouts - far too much of my childhood was spent over a plate of cold ones I was told to eat..as an adult.. fuggedaboudit.
Mussels/Oysters - I'm sorry there is just nuthin' in me that wants to eat something that looks like a dead baby bird.
Pickled rattlesnake - yes., this was indeed offered to me.. and NO. NO. NO. NO.
I've been seated in front of a plate of lutefisk. Notice I did not say I ate it. Thats what I get for having South Dakota friends. The lefse, now that was good.
Once in Florida, while visiting my cousins, I worked up a big crush on a local boy. His family though now quite average had in the way-past been quite wealthy. Their home was filled with antiques, heavy silver, gold-rimmed, super thin china. Those were the everyday dishes too.
Anyway, I was so impressed and hopeful. I was invited over for dinner, seated at the long heavy carved table, with place setting of bone china and ornate silverware, crystal goblets for the co-cola.
And for dinner was served --- boiled white fish, with a side of stewed okra and tomatoes. I needed one of Tracy Lynn's spoons to gouge out my own eyeballs! I am Southern! I must be polite! I must try to eat the food!
It was awful, just awful. We did not marry.
Otherwise, foods that should not be eaten are collards, deviled ham, tuna fish salad/casserole, hot dogs, frog legs and squid/octopus. Oh and coconut.
I'm now more fearful than ever of my upcoming trip to Shanghai. I think I'll just pack a suitcase of food and munch out of there.
Or starve.
Gaa!
"But it is time to back away from the buffet!"
What a line! I am going to remember that one.
I can recall ordering cheese blintzes at an IHOP once. They came three on a plate. The first one was the most delicious food I had ever eaten in my entire life. The second one started to get a little old on me. I nearly gagged on the third. What a roller coaster ride that meal was!
Since then I've never eaten a cheese blintz.
Post a Comment
<< Home