Observations, Actions and Inevitable Consequences
While out shopping for 'odds and ends' earlier, I stopped to really look at my list - and immediately burst out laughing. My list consisted of oatmeal, ham, ketchup, light bulbs and toothpaste.
I'm not sure what I was going to make, but even I don't want to eat at my house tonight.
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If you opt to "create your own ring tone" for your personal phone, please take caution. Make sure to turn your phone off prior to entering business meetings. If you do not, the phone will inevitably begin to sing - loudly...and you will be powerless to stop it. As luck would have it, you will have thrown your cell into the Depths of what is known as your Magic Mom Purse, and you will be unable to locate it until the ring tone has loudly yelled
Ugly People, PUT YER HANDS DOWN!
Repeatedly. During a business meeting. Just after a call to vote.
At the very least, put the friggin' thing on VIBRATE.
Not that I've had any experience with that sort of thing.
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Peppermint Puff candies are the work of Satan. One should definitely not ingest roughly 3/4# of said candies in one day. Should you choose to ignore my warning, please take caution. The end result will not be pretty.
Said result will not occur for roughly 24 hours, and will occur in public. The noise that escapes your stomach region will roughly sound like a demon possessed cat, alternately hacking up a hairball and possibly drowning. Naturally, this noise will occur while leaning over a desk next to your boss. The noise will generate attention from across the room, and Annoying Coworker will yell "Good God woman! What did you eat?!"
*Sigh*
Don't say I never warned you.
I'm not sure what I was going to make, but even I don't want to eat at my house tonight.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you opt to "create your own ring tone" for your personal phone, please take caution. Make sure to turn your phone off prior to entering business meetings. If you do not, the phone will inevitably begin to sing - loudly...and you will be powerless to stop it. As luck would have it, you will have thrown your cell into the Depths of what is known as your Magic Mom Purse, and you will be unable to locate it until the ring tone has loudly yelled
Ugly People, PUT YER HANDS DOWN!
Repeatedly. During a business meeting. Just after a call to vote.
At the very least, put the friggin' thing on VIBRATE.
Not that I've had any experience with that sort of thing.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peppermint Puff candies are the work of Satan. One should definitely not ingest roughly 3/4# of said candies in one day. Should you choose to ignore my warning, please take caution. The end result will not be pretty.
Said result will not occur for roughly 24 hours, and will occur in public. The noise that escapes your stomach region will roughly sound like a demon possessed cat, alternately hacking up a hairball and possibly drowning. Naturally, this noise will occur while leaning over a desk next to your boss. The noise will generate attention from across the room, and Annoying Coworker will yell "Good God woman! What did you eat?!"
*Sigh*
Don't say I never warned you.
posted by rennratt at 8:51 PM
10 Comments:
If you think the peppermint Puff candies are bad you should try eating some White Castles the night before. I'll tell you right now it's more than just a noise when it happens the next day :O
Now THAT was a good laugh, first thing this morning!
LOL....the ring tone thing...priceless...
Wheeee!!! Most excellent advice and insights!
Oh man, do I love that ringtone story! I don't think I wanna eat at your house tonight either.
"The end result will not be pretty."
Ewwww.
Thanx for the advice! I often worry that I'll forget to turn my cell off during church and the Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated" will peel thru the church.
Rumor has it you and the Tiffster are going to TSO tonight. I'm thinking about becoming a TSO-head and following them from city to city.
LOL You're as bad as I am when it comes to candy. It's so hard to stop eating it. Yummy stuff.
Since I am not particularly fond of pepermint, and I am diabetic, I can follow that piece of advice. Don't ever eat smoked salmon and drink beer the night before. It will turn the air yellow and hang there in a cloud like mustard gas. Or so I hear.
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