An Odd Kind of Comfort
I've been missing my mom a lot lately. It's hard to realize that she's been gone for over two years now; it seems like I talked to her just last week. Although she died in October, just days after Nooze's sixth birthday, I miss her most during springtime.
Springtime, for some reason, simply screams 'Mom' to me. Whether it's the budding of roses, the planting of gardens, or simply the end of the death known as winter - I don't know. It could be the vibrant pastels all around, the warmth of the sun, the breeze in the air...
Maybe it's simply the inevitable approach of Mother's Day.
Regardless. I have found myself sitting solitary a lot lately, wallowing in memories, random thoughts - and more than my share of self pity. It's been a dark and whiny place around here.
Until the other night, that is.
I dreamed that I went to visit my mother.
She apparently lives in a cave at the edge of Katahdin, which isn't all that far from my hometown of Sadandcold, Maine. In retrospect, Katahdin is an appropriate final resting place for my mother. She climbed it at the age of forty, simply because she was told she was 'too old' to ever climb a mountain. [We did have to be 'rescued', but she DID climb!]
Okay, back to the dream...
...The cave, while somewhat dark, was oddly comforting. It smelled of cookies, cinnamon and mom's perfume. ZZ Top was playing softly in the background. [I guess she's now openly a fan?] She was sitting in her rocking chair, knitting needles clicking and clacking as she made 'another scarf for crazy winter hikers'.
In spite of the fact that a) My mother is deceased b) She's actually buried in the Sadandcold town cemetery c) I don't think she ever climbed Katahdin again - this dream made perfect sense to me.
Right down to her pet:
...a fire breathing, fang-bearing hamster...
...that she had named Dude.
It was made even better when I visited I'm not Benny the next day. His Mascot of the Week brought everything full circle for me.
Poor Wiggins. I assume that he and Dude have met...
Springtime, for some reason, simply screams 'Mom' to me. Whether it's the budding of roses, the planting of gardens, or simply the end of the death known as winter - I don't know. It could be the vibrant pastels all around, the warmth of the sun, the breeze in the air...
Maybe it's simply the inevitable approach of Mother's Day.
Regardless. I have found myself sitting solitary a lot lately, wallowing in memories, random thoughts - and more than my share of self pity. It's been a dark and whiny place around here.
Until the other night, that is.
I dreamed that I went to visit my mother.
She apparently lives in a cave at the edge of Katahdin, which isn't all that far from my hometown of Sadandcold, Maine. In retrospect, Katahdin is an appropriate final resting place for my mother. She climbed it at the age of forty, simply because she was told she was 'too old' to ever climb a mountain. [We did have to be 'rescued', but she DID climb!]
Okay, back to the dream...
...The cave, while somewhat dark, was oddly comforting. It smelled of cookies, cinnamon and mom's perfume. ZZ Top was playing softly in the background. [I guess she's now openly a fan?] She was sitting in her rocking chair, knitting needles clicking and clacking as she made 'another scarf for crazy winter hikers'.
In spite of the fact that a) My mother is deceased b) She's actually buried in the Sadandcold town cemetery c) I don't think she ever climbed Katahdin again - this dream made perfect sense to me.
Right down to her pet:
...a fire breathing, fang-bearing hamster...
...that she had named Dude.
It was made even better when I visited I'm not Benny the next day. His Mascot of the Week brought everything full circle for me.
Poor Wiggins. I assume that he and Dude have met...
posted by rennratt at 12:54 PM
11 Comments:
Yep, Mother's Day is a bummer for me too. I'm glad you got to see your mom in your dreams.
I don't think that's odd comfort, it just makes sense to me that it makes sense to you. I'm glad you got to visit her. *hugs*
SHe's right there. It's a sure thing. Those dreams do not lie. You KNOW how I know.
Freaking sweet pet your mom's got. I want one. And I do not want ot wait until the afterlife to get one.
I think dreams of our parents are very comforting, Renn. I'm glad you get to see her in your dreams.
I wish I could offer you something wise, but I'm so not skilled in this area. I do think it's nice that you can find comfort in your dreams. And can I tell you that your mom sounds like she as really an amazing and interesting woman.
Once in a blue moon, I have a dream where I get to visit my friend or grandparents that are gone. Those are always nice.
I'm sorry you're sad. I don't even like to think about my Mom not being here.
Not much I can say.... sorry to hear you are blue- but I'm back with a funny story and a happy song :o) maybe that will help?
stop by :o)
I'm sorry you've been feeling so down.
I wish there was some way to help you not feel so lonely for her, but I know that's impossible.
(((HUGS)))
I miss my mom too, Renn. Hopefully one day we'll both see ours again.
{{Hugs}} I understand missing a parent, but dream visits are pretty cool.
I'm with Ron- nothing can replace the person, but it seems like a gift that you can still spend some time with your Mom in your dreams.
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