Unwell

Somewhere around two months ago, I got tired.  Really tired. Fall asleep while driving or at your desk tired. Exhausted, even.  No amount of caffeine, sugar or even the threat of being shocked could keep me conscious.

Since my illness AND medication both have potentially precarious side effects, I made an appointment with my family doctor.  I made a mental list of symptoms first: Exhaustion, weight gain, an increased aversion to cold (which is really saying something), and a few minor characters that currently slip my mind.  The random weight gain bothered me the most.  Would the doctor believe that nothing was working? That I couldn't seem to lose even 1/2 pound no matter how hard I tried? That I didn't know WHY I was so very, very, very tired?

I went through the potential side effects from the above issues: Liver failure.  Kidney failure.  Leukemia.  Tuberculosis.  Could it really be that bad? Or was it something simple - like a vitamin deficiency...or menopause?

I walked into the doctor's office, signed in...and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Twenty minutes after my appointment was scheduled, I was called back to see the nurse.  After nearly 30 years of being MY height, I had inexplicably grown 1/2" inch.  My weight was back to where it was three years ago, but everything else registered as fine.  

I was ushered to an exam room, where I waited even longer.  Finally, Doctor Valley Girl walked in, and couldn't remember that I was her patient.  (In all fairness, I only go to the doctor when I have to.  I haven't seen her in over a year.)  I refreshed her memory, and we moved on.

After dispensing with the pleasantries, we got down to the crux of the matter.  I explained the symptoms as best I could, right down to the severe exhaustion.  She thought for a moment, nodding and asked if I ever had insomnia.  I responded that, yes, I sometimes did.  Sometimes, after falling asleep into a plate of spaghetti at 6 pm, I would wake up at 2 am ready to start the day.  She nodded slowly, then blurted out that I probably had anxiety and should take medicine.

Uh, okay.

Let me make this abundantly clear: Anxiety and depression are terrible things to deal with.  Terrible.  Medication for these illnesses have come a long way, and have likely saved more lives than I could even imagine or name.  That's wonderful.

BUT.

I am exhausted, cold, and gaining weight for no particular reason. (Okay, my love for sugar likely has a LOT to do with the last one, but still...) I blinked rapidly and blurted out, "You think I'm suffering from anxiety? Do you think it could be my thyroid?"  She shook her head and blurted out, "That doesn't explain the anxiety.  Thyroid issues don't cause anxiety."  [Perhaps she should read Web MD.  It's actually ONE OF THE SYMPTOMS.]

Anxiety that SHE diagnosed from my waking up at 2 in the morning...and staying awake until dawn.  Which happened after crashing during the dinner hour.  TWICE.

Although y'all know the darkness and sarcasm that swirls beneath the surface, I do my level best to be mature while In Public.  I asked if we could, perhaps, TABLE the "anxiety issue" pending blood tests.  Tests that I have to have ANYWAY to ensure that I'm not frying my liver, liquefying my kidneys or turning my blood into a Tumor Superhighway.

She sighed in resignation and nodded slowly, handing me a scrip for blood draws.

Two days later, I received a call from her office.  The wanted to know which pharmacy I used, as my Vitamin D levels where roughly in the level of your average sewer line.  Excellent.

Roughly five days later, I had my now annual appointment with my Beloved Dr. Yup-Yup.  I recounted my visit with Dr VG, whom Yup-Yup can't reference without a sneer.  [To say that he has nothing but contempt for her would be a compliment.]

Dr. Yup-Yup shook his head, sighed, and blurted "FOUR WEEKS?! FOUR WEEKS OF VITAMIN D?! Call me when that runs out.  I will piggy back that with eight more.  There is NO REASON to only take that for FOUR WEEKS!"  He exhaled slowly, calming himself.  He made a note to contact Dr. VG's office for the other results, then dropped the Mother of all Bombs on me:

He thinks that the exhaustion is the Next Phase of Illness.  Pending test results for my panels, I am tentatively scheduled to increase my Humira dose within the next month or so...to four times per month.

Wish me luck, my peeps.  I'm going to need it.