The Sound of Music
The long anticipated Kindergarten Night arrived last week. There was no graduation ceremony; the school sees it as an unnecessary expense. I tend to agree. Instead, parents were treated to an hour of singing, Southern Kindergarten Style.
Sadly, the Mama Mia piece was not used. As a result, I am unable to tell you whether they were taught ABBA or Queen. Perhaps the song styles noted below will give us some insight.
The entire Kindergarten was on the stage, and was categorized by Teacher. Each separate class wore a different color T-Shirt - and had a different theme.
The Blue Group, wearing Broken Eggshell caps, sang the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme - to the tune of Louie, Louie. The Yellow Group, wearing head bands and work out attire, sang their ABC's to the Rocky theme, pausing to work out between letter sets. The Green Group held up paper coins and sang about money - citing the names of people on the coins and dollar bills. The Red Group, dressed in animal masks, sang the Farmer in the Dell. The Orange group, dressed in chef hats, confessed their love for jambalaya, craw fish and Po Boys.
The grand finale, however, completely took my breath away. They entire group - maybe 120 kids - sang their ABC's in a round. My reaction may have me banned from Edge of the Great Woods Elementary.
The Deep Southern Accents translated the alphabet to "ay, beeeh, say, day, ay, aif, jaiy, aich, aih, jaiy, kay, eyel, eyem, eyen..." I felt like I was listening to a chorus of prepubescent Steel Magnolias and miniature Forrest Gumps.
I tried to control myself. Really. I even stood at the far back wall, in the dark, trying to hide from the other parents. Unfortunately, I do not laugh in the proper Southern Manner. I am loud. I tend to gasp, sending out a short blasted "HA!", while covering my mouth and doubling over. Sadly, people tend to see this as a disrespect, rather than an admission of full enjoyment.
Unfortunately, my laughter was not well received by most. Neither were my shaking or admission that I thought I'd wet my pants. (I didn't, by the way.) I think I was tagged as the Insensitive Northern Mother after that.
I will need to make nice this summer, I think. I have the feeling that my apology will be in the form of Borrowed Children. Every weekend.
Perhaps, in time, I will be accepted as an Honorary Southerner with Different Ways. I probably shouldn't hold my breath.
Sadly, the Mama Mia piece was not used. As a result, I am unable to tell you whether they were taught ABBA or Queen. Perhaps the song styles noted below will give us some insight.
The entire Kindergarten was on the stage, and was categorized by Teacher. Each separate class wore a different color T-Shirt - and had a different theme.
The Blue Group, wearing Broken Eggshell caps, sang the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme - to the tune of Louie, Louie. The Yellow Group, wearing head bands and work out attire, sang their ABC's to the Rocky theme, pausing to work out between letter sets. The Green Group held up paper coins and sang about money - citing the names of people on the coins and dollar bills. The Red Group, dressed in animal masks, sang the Farmer in the Dell. The Orange group, dressed in chef hats, confessed their love for jambalaya, craw fish and Po Boys.
The grand finale, however, completely took my breath away. They entire group - maybe 120 kids - sang their ABC's in a round. My reaction may have me banned from Edge of the Great Woods Elementary.
The Deep Southern Accents translated the alphabet to "ay, beeeh, say, day, ay, aif, jaiy, aich, aih, jaiy, kay, eyel, eyem, eyen..." I felt like I was listening to a chorus of prepubescent Steel Magnolias and miniature Forrest Gumps.
I tried to control myself. Really. I even stood at the far back wall, in the dark, trying to hide from the other parents. Unfortunately, I do not laugh in the proper Southern Manner. I am loud. I tend to gasp, sending out a short blasted "HA!", while covering my mouth and doubling over. Sadly, people tend to see this as a disrespect, rather than an admission of full enjoyment.
Unfortunately, my laughter was not well received by most. Neither were my shaking or admission that I thought I'd wet my pants. (I didn't, by the way.) I think I was tagged as the Insensitive Northern Mother after that.
I will need to make nice this summer, I think. I have the feeling that my apology will be in the form of Borrowed Children. Every weekend.
Perhaps, in time, I will be accepted as an Honorary Southerner with Different Ways. I probably shouldn't hold my breath.
posted by rennratt at 8:08 AM
12 Comments:
I, too have the habit of laughing loudly. In fact, I have always been too loud at most everything I do. And though I am a Southerner, their singing of the alphabet in that accent would have had me actually peeing in my pants. That sounds like a fun night. Wish I could have seen that!
Awww, that sounds so cute! I tend to get all weepy at cute events, so I would have been in the corner, trying to hold the tears back. LOL.
Screw 'em. You enjoyed their kids antics, dintcha?
It ain't yer fault they was born a-talkin' all goofy like.
Screw 'em.
(It sounds like it was adorable)
LOL If they kick you out of the south you can always return to the frozen north...although I fear you now have a southern accent to all us noth-u-nahs up he-ah. Glad you had fun! Can't wait to see you.
You live in Raleigh, right?
no, sorry, you're always gonna be a Yankee.
You do have the advantage of going to church, though.
It'd be soooo much worse if you had to answer "So where do you go to church?" with "I don't"
Then you'd be a Godless Yankee!
Go Green Group! I hope they sang it to the tune ofeither :Money, money, money from Cabaret, or Money by Pink Floyd
Oh I remember so well a spelling test my daughter had where the word was *flowers* but the aide pronouned it *flares*. Jenny spelled *flares* correctly but was marked wrong, as she should have known the proper word on the week's list!!! the foot stomping she had! was a sight to see.
I hooted just as you did and I am a true, born in it, southerner.
I always sit or stand in the back near an exit no matter what the event.
One currently pseudo-godless Yankee here.....who would have sealed the deal for a free trip to hell by laughing right alongside of you.
I mean, really. How can you NOT?
:)
I'd have cracked up too. I have a hard enough time not giggling when talking to Southern colleagues. Then again, they think anyone north of Kansas talks like the folks in Fargo, so they're probably laughing at me too.
As a guffawer from way back, as well as a Southerner by birth and a Northerner by living situation, I can tell you that A) it will be forgiven, but not forgotten and B) you will ALWAYS be that Northerner. In the same way that you can't really be a Mainer unless you're born there.
Hell - I am laughing and I am Southerner by birth and a Northerner by twisted sarcasm.
My friends who live in Southern Alabama, orginally from Atlanta, make their three year old daughter say "drink" instead of "draaaynk" before they hand her glass of water/juice.
Heh. 'Splains why they can't spell, I guess.
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