Somebody's Watching Me...

This was stolen directly from JC:

What Renn Means

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Oh, No...

I have finally hit ROCK BOTTOM with these stupid Allergies.

I coughed so hard that I wet my frigging pants.

In public, no less.

Well, now. Thank GOD I'm showing progress in Physical Therapy.

I'll be able to walk, head high, into the store tonight...

...and look the cashier dead in the eye as I purchase my first case of adult diapers.

How I Know it is Spring

I don't need to look outside, walk outside or read the newspaper.

I simply need to inhale. Or try to, anyway. Breathing is currently limited and set on "shallow"; my eyes are on Code Red High Alert and running like sieves. I am also coughing like a TB patient, waiting for my Iron Lung to arrive.

On the up swing, however, is the fact that THIS Spring, I have retained approximately 60% of my hearing. Enough, my friends, to know that The Voice has once again returned to me. This go 'round, there will be no comparisons to RuPaul or Vera de Milo. Apparently, this time around, The Voice is right on the mark.

How do I know?

Random customers are beginning to ask for me by descriptions involving works like 'gravel' and 'growl', but never by my name (which they KNOW!)

Male co-workers are currently contacting me via Nextel at an alarming rate, with increasingly inane questions. This suggests a "field network", and some of our vendors have become involved.

Female co-workers have lined up with a common goal: They all want me as the Girl in their voice mail message.

I might consider it, if I could stop coughing long enough to comply.

Fast Five/Personal Ad Edition

The Evil Twin's Wife has tagged me to tell you five MORE things about myself. Since I recently confessed to placing a completely honest personal ad "back in the day", I decided to give you a little background on the ad.

The facts are as follows:

1. I wrote the ad as part of a psychology experiment, at the request of my residential director, Marsha.

2. Marsha was completing her Master's Thesis on The Psychological Aspects of Truth in Dating: Why Men Don't Really Want the Truth.

3. I was the Truth portion of the experiment.

4. I received TWO responses to my ad, three years apart.

5. The first response was written in a drunken scrawl, across the back of a photocopied Hair Band poster from a Dive Bar in southern West Virginia. The 'respondent' told me that I should 'probably give up on men, as it appeared I was a d-k-".

She Speaks to Me in Pictures...

Nooze: Momma, I'm finally getting my taste back after being sick!

Me: Oh, that's great, hon!

Nooze: Yeah. I was getting really tired of everything tasting like old cabbage.

Personally Yours...

Painfully average female in search of realistic relationship.
Not interested in long walks on beach, candlelit dinners or romantic talk.
More comfortable swilling long neck brews, wearing boxer shorts and watching Beavis and Butthead.

Random Confession #3,465

When in college, I placed a completely honest personal ad.

The results were even worse than you could imagine.

We Interrupt this Program...

...To present you an undiagnosed virus. Symptoms include temperatures exceeding 102 degrees, fits of coughing, and much needed sleep.

Please amuse yourselves for the time being.

I will be throwing tylenol and motrin in the general direction of my offspring, folding a load of laundry, and going back to bed.

Here's the Word, Nerd...

Happy Birthday, Wordnerd!

Y'all, click her link over to the right. Go and wish her a Happy, Happy Day!

Speak of The Devil...

Is it wrong to crush on a guy who plays the Devil on television?

And yes, I'm aware that he's sixty one years old.

What of it?

[Those who doubt my taste should REALLY, REALLY watch Reaper.]