Red Faced / Blue Tooth
I was strolling casually through the Ladies' Department when she approached, grinning widely.
"You won't believe this!" She squealed.
I turned, confused, and looked at her.
Do I know her? I wondered.
"Seriously!" She screamed. "You'll never guess!"
I edged away from her, in case she was slightly "off". She walked closer to me with great purpose, looking at me intently.
"Well?!" She hollered. "Aren't you even going to guess?! Even one time?"
I glanced quietly around, checking to see if she was, indeed, speaking to me. There was no one else around, and she was staring at me wide eyed. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I had no idea who she was. I just shook my head instead.
"Spoil sport!" She hollered. "I got the best bra! I'm wearing it right now! It's a [bleeping] F-cup!"
Sensing that she could use the moral support, I smiled and said, "Huh. Well. There you go! Good for you!"
Her eyes focused on me with a glare as she pointed at her ear piece and yelled, "Do you mind?! I'm on the phone!"
Unable to hold it in any more, I blurted, "You should at least tell him the truth. You're clearly no larger than a 'B' cup."
Then I ran away.
"You won't believe this!" She squealed.
I turned, confused, and looked at her.
Do I know her? I wondered.
"Seriously!" She screamed. "You'll never guess!"
I edged away from her, in case she was slightly "off". She walked closer to me with great purpose, looking at me intently.
"Well?!" She hollered. "Aren't you even going to guess?! Even one time?"
I glanced quietly around, checking to see if she was, indeed, speaking to me. There was no one else around, and she was staring at me wide eyed. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I had no idea who she was. I just shook my head instead.
"Spoil sport!" She hollered. "I got the best bra! I'm wearing it right now! It's a [bleeping] F-cup!"
Sensing that she could use the moral support, I smiled and said, "Huh. Well. There you go! Good for you!"
Her eyes focused on me with a glare as she pointed at her ear piece and yelled, "Do you mind?! I'm on the phone!"
Unable to hold it in any more, I blurted, "You should at least tell him the truth. You're clearly no larger than a 'B' cup."
Then I ran away.
posted by rennratt at 8:26 PM
19 Comments:
I love it! There's one for all the other times you've had to keep your mouth shut but were bursting to say something. Good for you!!!
Lemme guess. She had a Bluetooth?
I hate those damn ear things.
Bwahahaha! I've accidentally spoken to people at work that had those stupid things in.
And that, my dears, is why Renn is my favorite.
Oh, I think I'll go to Penneys bra dept tonight just hoping for someone to do this to me so I can use that wonderful comeback!!! Too funny
that's hilarious! I do truly hate people who think their conversation is private...if you want to talk to someone "wirelessly" then at least do it where people won't think you're talking to them.
Had a woman who was in the BATHROOM at a rest stop, talking to someone...she was in a stall...I seriously thought she was talking to me, but I ignored her because I had NO clue who she was...when she came out she was still chattering...on a bluetooth...now that's just plain icky...
I hate when people wear those ear things. I see them just yammering away at the grocery store and I think, "Don't you realize you appear to be a crazy person?" Guess not.
That.Is.Hilarious!!!!!!
Posts like this are what separate the men from the boys. Or, in this case, the Renns from the rest of us.
Fabulous.
Brilliant (not a surprise).
We were out for a walk the other day, and a youngster with us peered into a stinky sewer to see what was down there. I asked if he saw any cell phones (because it's common for wastewater plants to collect lots of them), and he blurted out, "What kind of tard talks on the phone in the bathroom?"
Furthermore, a friend was shopping for a bra for his wife. A clerk asked if she could help, because he was clearly having trouble. "I don't know the size," he confessed.
'Well, are they like grapefruits?' she asked.
He shook his head, saying, "No, smaller."
'Oranges?'
"Smaller."
'Eggs?'
He nodded, "Yeah, fried!"
Hahahaha.
I have nothing else to offer.
I laughed at her glaring and scolding YOU. As if you were the one talking loudly about personal issues in the middle of a department store...with or without the bluetooth crazy person act, poor manners.
This was AWESOME and I only wish I could be brave enough to offer the same response in a similar situation. Oh and also, I hate it when those people talking into their bluetooths get pissed when you respond to their apparently insane rants. Come on, get a clue, you look like a nut with that flashing thing in your ear. Cut us some slack for simply trying to placate your madness.
This is soooooooooooo great. I hate those blue tooth thingies that make you think folks are talking to you. I'm practicing up for the next time to come back with as good a response as yours. F....ing FANTASTIC!
One more decision we have to make nowadays: Is that person crazy, or are "The Voices" coming from a headset?
But then maybe the answer is always the same.
Priceless!
LOL...
I think when she said, "Do you mind?! I'm on the phone!" that you should have looked back at her with the same irritated look and put one hand on your ear and said, "Some freaking idiot here is trying to talk to me while I'm on the phone. Can I call you back?" and then turn and look at her like she's a stupid.
She sounds like a real charmer.
Not.
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